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RakiSama
Posted on 07-30-24 09:05 PM Link | #6931
Ah today we be talking about pokemon!
literary two days ago i got two shinys in one day

Shiny Chubbin i fully evolved and a shiny toucannon

Chubbin called Cherry
Toucannon called lilo
i will level them up to 100 and make them set up for battle

i have 5 stare cook in festival plaza and i think im level 33 on festival plaza or was that tomidochi life?

idk i was playing tomidochi life bc i made me and alex in it but alex best friends with a girl named Lilly i think and their super close so im trying to get them to not be close and if their fall in love im deleting lilly

alex is mine no one can have him
i will reset my save file till hes mine

0-o
that abit yandere me
that was weird but its in a game
of friends! (tomidochi means friend)

Daily know about me
did you know the longest canvas drawing i made taking up almost half a year and not done bc i forgot to buy more pens to finsh it and before i ran out off all 8 pens
it took me 3 months to get the pens to dry out

____________________
-----------------------
Make it your reality
but it will always be
a lie...so listen to us
its the truth....
-----------------------

kikilxve
Posted on 07-30-24 10:17 PM Link | #6933
Do you mean Tomodachi Life?
Alex sounds like a guy you like a lot!
Yesterday I had a story, I think I'll tell it :P
Basically, yesterday I was in pict.chat, and I talked with people, and one told us a story.
10 years ago, the person had a girlfriend, who after a while identified as trans.
A while later, she realized the huge mistake she made. She'd only done that because she saw people getting recognition because of that, and she'd already taken hormones, so it wasn't the same. She shouldn't have made that mistake. I guess it's an interesting story :P

____________________
i love pinkpantheress -v-
sleepy today, it's the same tomorrow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
go to https://pict.chat (sometimes i'm there)
https://dontasktoask.com
filler text

RakiSama
Posted on 08-03-24 09:13 PM Link | #6964
Replay to Kiki
-----------------------------------
ah then their not really trans but i guess it is to late, feel bad honestly since im trans myself but i dont take pills or do surgery, im afraid of things going wrong or my body fuck ups down the line.

so i dress up more manly and growing i was a tomboy easy but i really thought im i really this.

got jealous of how guys looked and i didnt look like that, so i work out. I keep my hair shoulder wit.

i remember two guys talking as i walk down with my friend, i heard them say that a guy right?

and wen i spoke to my friend i heard them as i enter a door to the lift go
Oh shit!? its a girl, at that point i was proud laughing my ass off back to class, that i knew my mission was a success

i felt happy that i was seen as a dude.

but i never change my body bc it my body idc if i have lady stuff or guy stuff, it about the mind i care about and my self care

i wish i told your friend that but hope their happy and ok
mistakes happen wen we dont know what we feel or want

but we always get humble

____________________
-----------------------
Make it your reality
but it will always be
a lie...so listen to us
its the truth....
-----------------------

kikilxve
Posted on 08-04-24 07:44 PM Link | #6969
Heh, i also would've if I wasn't a baby :P

____________________
i love pinkpantheress -v-
sleepy today, it's the same tomorrow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
go to https://pict.chat (sometimes i'm there)
https://dontasktoask.com
filler text

RakiSama
Posted on 08-06-24 09:28 PM Link | #6990
Today i went to cupcake making at my college cause their had clubs on

i enjoyed it but i hate myself so much, i was with these two girls and we talked and i felt so obnoxious and talkative...i wanted to just punch a wall.

and honestly most the time i talked never really paid attention, its the same with other people...idk-

i just hate how annoying i was
i talked about what i like and my friends, my work out and things i do like art.
honestly the internet the only place where i dont really hate myself, maybe bc no one knows how i look or act in real life

i just was a different person, a person i hate, i want to be closed off, i dont want to talk to worthless beings wen i cant even be happy with myself

Going outside annoying
trying to please people is annoying
trying to comft someone is so
idk feel fake? then boom i ghost them on the internet and irl

idk what wrong with...everyone says im Kind, nice, sweet, caring, loyal, trusted, bubbly, hyper

but in reality i know that not really me
wen im really really in a mood or gave up trying

im cold, distance, i glare alot, i tap things like a table or if i have pen or pencil i grip it tight, im angry, restless and dont give two darn about anyone or anything

it like i have split personality and having depersonalization mixed in with my ADHD and autism

that just a whole load of prombles, i might have more! and i wont know.

im sick of tired of how i act around people i just wanna throw myself of a bridge bc i over think that their think im annoying, insane, weird, a freak

cause it hurting me mentally and i know that but it sounds like im a physcho path-

im not, more off a sociopath even though im very social yet i hate it so much where i get angry



____________________
-----------------------
Make it your reality
but it will always be
a lie...so listen to us
its the truth....
-----------------------

RakiSama
Posted on 08-19-24 09:20 PM Link | #7048
UPDATE!

sorry i haven't been posting on this thread, reason why.
i was getting sleep deprived and having insomnia makes it worse

i love sleep now and i try get sleep because not sleeping can literary kill you and memory loss that i do have! that is getting worse and im not really able to think stright
----------------------
Another thing i notice my English getting worse... idk if it my speek impendiment coming into play or my brain slowing rotting like some cabbage you though you could leave to marinate but forgot it at thanks giving (im in UK i dont even celebrate this) all because no one came

Rotting away + you forgetting + no friends
(rosted myself like a rotisserie chicken yum!)
--------------------------

so ye i just went to sleep till i posted again

____________________
-----------------------
Make it your reality
but it will always be
a lie...so listen to us
its the truth....
-----------------------

RakiSama
Posted on 08-20-24 08:54 PM Link | #7052
I got college clubs tomorrow amd its art and crafts oooooo
i almost finished my sketch book!
and it be my first ever finished book!
(after 13 years of doing art and never finished s sketch book)
----------------------------
iv been playing this game on roblox...forgot what it was called-

but! it was a Rpg dungeon type of game, its in early access so not much, Though its simple and easy especially for a xbox player!

i always have trouble tryinng to find a game to stick with
unlike Osu and friday night funky and flee the facility
------------------------------

DAILY KNOW ABOUT ME!

Did you know i used to make Minecraft maps ^-^

____________________
-----------------------
Make it your reality
but it will always be
a lie...so listen to us
its the truth....
-----------------------

kikilxve
Posted on 08-21-24 01:40 PM Link | #7056
How do you find a decent game on Roblox? All i can find myself playing is Pet Simulator X, that i know of.

____________________
i love pinkpantheress -v-
sleepy today, it's the same tomorrow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
go to https://pict.chat (sometimes i'm there)
https://dontasktoask.com
filler text

RakiSama
Posted on 08-21-24 09:07 PM Link | #7060
-------------------------
Replay to KIKI:

oh its a pain in my ass honestly
though heres a few games i like

1. lumber tycoon 2
2. natural disaster
3. breaking point
4. retail tycoon (not the new one)
5. roblox Osu
6. flee the facility
7. funky friday
8. prokemon brick bronze
9. bayblade (any that good)
10. KAT
11. Fun mini games
12. death ball
13. untitled boxing
14. Strongest battle grounds
15. deepwoken (cost 400 bobuxs, i thinl it callef deepwoken)
16. Axol Rng (for yall afk peeps)

honestly just play some classic games its a breather and very nostalgic
-----------------------------------
Update on ME!

im starting to hate myself again, theres this girl who keeps pointing out how talkative i'am and honestly that can break my reality and i go right to my fucked up personality

like i wanted to just ugh... you know! i get so cold and emotionless and for the rest of the afternoon i kept to myself

it like i cant be myself or i try be someone else, Like what do you want me to do!?

im literary mentally ill and no one knows because i mask it!

i dont want help but i do then i just get aggressive, like a vampire trying resist the urge of blood because their too niceto hurt poor little humans

honestly i had enough!

____________________
-----------------------
Make it your reality
but it will always be
a lie...so listen to us
its the truth....
-----------------------

kikilxve
Posted on 08-22-24 01:14 AM Link | #7064
Thanks for the recommendations! I'll try them out some day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wow, you're good at masking that! I wouldn't tell by myself.
Also, maybe it's okay to point out that you don't like her saying that, especially knowing that she is pointing something out herself. I would stop talking to her if she got mad about me pointing it out.

____________________
i love pinkpantheress -v-
sleepy today, it's the same tomorrow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
go to https://pict.chat (sometimes i'm there)
https://dontasktoask.com
filler text

RakiSama
Posted on 08-24-24 08:28 AM Link | #7075
i just woke up to write about yesterday!
-----------------------------
yesterday was the last day of college clubs and it was boxing/Gym

i already did boxing way back in primary and highschool
so i did good

i did do some work out before hand and now just waking up
im in pain and that doesn't help wen im on my lady month
------------------------------
on my art tiktok im almost to 3k followers that like so meny people if you think about it!

im like so happy i gone this fair!
though i only use tiktok to post my art nothing else
i only scroll to try find some music or templates
----------------------------------
Daily know about me!

my favourite song right now is
hole dwelling (english cover/ japanese cover)

____________________
-----------------------
Make it your reality
but it will always be
a lie...so listen to us
its the truth....
-----------------------

RakiSama
Posted on 08-30-24 09:46 PM Link | #7106
Just did my bedtime Mini workout
im gonna write down my progress duh
-------
Wight: 2.3Kg (it the only wight i have in my room, the others are lost)

Biceps curls (sitting, wight 2.3Kg)
Left: 60
Right: 60

Idk what it calls but it like fisting the air up
i call it the Friday night out

Left: 30
right: 30
(2.3Kg)

the put both of the previous togher we got

left: 20
Right: 20
(2.3kg)

Shadow boxing (just punching drills with wight)

left: 30
right:30
(2.3Kg)

then shoulder lifts
Left: around 20
same with right
-------------------------------
I do go to a gym but it at my college and i cant go back till term starts
but my max i lifted on cable machine was 160Kg

though i had to take 3 weeks break due to pulling a muscle in my back and lower back due to not sleeping proply and streaching to much after waking up

so remember even if that stretch feels absolutely GOOD dont over strethch or you cant lift even 4Kg wight... (that happened to me...)

wen i cant lift something i used to lift easy and just a small inrgury can make you drop so much gain

It scares me! like im afraid of hurting myself during workout

i do take rest days around 2 or 3 but it depends on how much pain im in since i just got back to working out again

i used to do upside down crunchs in highshool for Fun! i remember doing around more then 20 reps and honest i wasn't counting half the time

it was like my meditation
i just did it to relax
to even nap?
But now I CANT EVEN PULL UP ONE!?
im in college now on my 3rd year!
i was so jacked at 13-14! i could do 43 sit ups in a minute that like Army shit bro because you have to do 50 in a minute in the test!?

we i found that out bro i felt good but now i can only do 24 situps in a minute without my back and neck falling off

im almost 18 and im jealous of my younger self
that why i want to make a change
a change for myself
a change for my MIND!
A CHANGE FOR MY HEALTH
AND A CHANGE FOR MY
(body dismorfiya or wtf you spell it)
SOUL YEEEEE WOOO

honestly leanbeefpatty and other fitness trainers (not Cloe ting yk)

i did follow trainers that was more into health the bodybuilding

i realised i had the wrong goal but now ik my goal
------------------------


____________________
-----------------------
Make it your reality
but it will always be
a lie...so listen to us
its the truth....
-----------------------

RakiSama
Posted on 08-31-24 09:29 PM Link | #7109
Work out night time
before bed
------------------------
bicep curls
Left: 60
Right: 60
------
The fisting the air thingy (friday night out)
Left:60
Right:60
-------
thats all i did because
i also did standing up crunches brooo
for mah abs i dont count those
im rushing right now bc
my 2Ds on flashing red so
today be a short one
love yall
LOOOOOOL/

btw i have no favourite color
and im british HA
but look korean....??
(a stranger said that to me on a live stream)

____________________
-----------------------
Make it your reality
but it will always be
a lie...so listen to us
its the truth....
-----------------------

RakiSama
Posted on 09-14-24 09:07 PM Link | #7149
Aye! im back! finally with something to share!
-----------------------
My birthday coming up and im turning 18 that mean bank account and ID!

since im getting my own room as well i want to sell my art

Things i want to sell:
Stickers
Pins
trading Cards
Full Drawing Commission yk
the classic
--------------------
my only way to promote my art and get views fast is by my TikTok with almost 3,000 followers and around 600-2,000
views depending if im blessed by the tiktok algorithm especially if it 3k-6k views then imma get a lottery ticket

i don't want to share my tiktok on here bc i want people to find out about this fourm and people on melon Ds find me wen im Famous (which is a dream i could only dream of)

but if i did gey famous i would start having a mid life crisis

im a people pleaser so if i had 10k or 30k follower to make Art!?
i have to follow expections
the over thinking of losing your fans but you tell yourself only real fans stay

____________________
-----------------------
Make it your reality
but it will always be
a lie...so listen to us
its the truth....
-----------------------

kikilxve
Posted on 09-19-24 10:36 PM Link | #7156
Would you PM your TikTok to me? i'm intrigued.

____________________
i love pinkpantheress -v-
sleepy today, it's the same tomorrow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
go to https://pict.chat (sometimes i'm there)
https://dontasktoask.com
filler text

RakiSama
Posted on 11-03-24 10:52 PM Link | #7234
3/11/2024

ye im back but im complaining!
i have knee pain, i might be coming up with alargies idk how you spell it yall my auto correct for today

like i cant even have skittles, ye i can eat them but i dont want to if it makes my throat sore (but it so good) and im bloodly autistic and have ADHD and if something like cloth frabic irritates me you bet imma throw a hissy fit with a sore throat!

even with some sodas and processed foods, like whatever in those processed drinks and food i need to know it might kill me one day!

it proof you should go all natural
eating stuff that not ment for yoyr body is bad! it why im cutting off soda and drinks
(sometimes i wanna treat myself time to time)
and if my fish dont look like fish i aint eating it, imma have it with no batter
i better see it eyesss staring back at me into my soul!

____________________
-----------------------
Make it your reality
but it will always be
a lie...so listen to us
its the truth....
-----------------------

RakiSama
Posted on 11-04-24 10:48 PM Link | #7235
They can be good events and bad events


15/11/2024
16/02/2025
18/02/2025
14/05/2025
16/12/2024
18/12/2024
09/04/2025
01/01/2025
-------------------------------------
8th june 2025
10th October 2025
18th of may 2025
20th of July 2025
15th of September 2025
21 june of 2025
31st of August 2025
-------------------------------------
Events will not be named
it what might happen on those days

could be someone famous birthday
or a bad event like a Convention being cancelled

____________________
-----------------------
Make it your reality
but it will always be
a lie...so listen to us
its the truth....
-----------------------

RakiSama
Posted on 11-21-24 10:26 PM Link | #7257
I don't know anymore
i don't know...
i know death there, yet i want to accept reality but i care to much for my Friends and my loved ones especially my boyfriend

i don't know it just feels like everything crashing down
im not someone with a bad past or bad family (just strict and over protective)

but i can't help but just...hate idk what, i never know what yet i try get answers

i feel like my life ending near or it just starting
but i feel like my life was just watching the sidelines
growing up seeing the real reality of the world

it like i have a bigger role then i think yet is it real?
everything falling into place

the Religions...
my predictond...
everything...
yet the only ones who can stop it is us....you...the people

maybe some cults where right or just crazy
or im i? yet i seen things i couldn't belive things that a normal human can go crazy on

thats knowledge...maybe people fed to much or knew to much and the only ones who could be normal are the ones behind it all

and with my own knowledge it slowly making me go loco yet im determined to keep to a sane level

i have to if i want to see the truth...even if the truth never exsited at all

____________________
-----------------------
Make it your reality
but it will always be
a lie...so listen to us
its the truth....
-----------------------
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